


Habits Are Hard To Break

by InfiniteInMystery



Series: The Winds Are Fair But This Ship Only Has One Paddle [3]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Accidental conditioning, Attempt at Humor, Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Food Porn, Hand Jobs, Hijikata discovers his turn ons, M/M, PWP, Semi-Public Sex, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 06:31:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17523617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteInMystery/pseuds/InfiniteInMystery
Summary: These two idiots had somehow managed to condition him already, to expect sex of some form every time they did 'the thing'.





	Habits Are Hard To Break

**Author's Note:**

> It's going to be short and sweet.

The first time it happened, Hijikata didn't believe it.

“You can't be out here like this.” Hijikata said, sitting down heavily on the park bench beside Katsura. “You're not even wearing a disguise. You're lucky I spotted you before Sougo did.”

Katsura huffed in amusement. He was sitting plain as day in a green yukata, in the middle of the park. He was leaning back against the bench with a small book in his hands, a tree shading him from the intense afternoon sun. He didn't even glance up when Hijikata sat down beside him. His mouth only quirked at the corners, eyes skimming over the last page.

Hijikata sighed in relief. The shade was cool. It chilled the sweat that had gathered around the stupid cravat at his neck. He grabbed it, shifting it around, letting the air in against his warm skin. Was this why Katsura was risking exposure? To avoid the sun? What did this idiot do with his spare time, anyway? Read books in a park?

They'd been _together,_ in a sense, for a few months now. It had been mostly uneventful, especially on Katsura's end seeing how they were both so busy. Gintoki was a constant annoyance in Hijikata's week, but even with how much they saw each other, they never really got the chance to be _alone_ alone. It was all sneaking around, hand jobs here, blow jobs there. But Hijikata wasn't complaining. Quality non-sexy time with Gintoki was still quality time, and the same could be said for Katsura… he supposed. The two of them were still getting to know each other better.

“And where is Sougo?” Katsura asked, sounding unconcerned. He snapped his book shut with one hand and it disappeared into the opposite sleeve.

“He's...” Hijikata glanced over his shoulder, squinting off into the distance. Sougo was nowhere to be seen. “He's _somewhere_. I ditched him after I spotted you, you idiot. What are you doing, casually sitting around like this? Don't you have Amanto to terrorize? My police to bother?”

“Do you _want me_ to terrorize your police and the Amanto?” Katsura asked. “Am I not allowed to sit down and enjoy nature? Just because I'm a rebel?”

“Do you like nature?” Hijikata asked. “Trees and stuff?”

“Katsura rolled his eyes. “Do you see that tree right there?” He asked, pointing at a regular looking tree directly across from the bench. He waited until Hijikata looked before he continued. “That's a maple tree. And do you see that weird little shrub down there? It's actually a type of lily. They don't really flower.”

“Really?” Hijikata asked, eyebrow raised. “How do you know?”

“Because it has those ridges on it, and it's growing in the same soil as the maples.” Katsura said. “You could call them companion plants.”

Hijikata hummed, glancing sideways at Katsura. He had to admit it. He liked it when Katsura talked facts. “You have a hobby?”

“No, not really.” Katsura said. “I thought knowing a bit about plants might come in handy during the war. I looked mostly at medicinal plants and the hazardous ones, as well as which ones have fruit you can safely eat. But there was also a brief period after the war were I was growing them. Just little house plants, and the like.”

Hijikata glanced over, eyebrow raised. “Oh? You? Growing plants?”

“Mhmm.” Katsura said. He glanced Hijikata's way, a small smile on his lips. “I bet you couldn't even keep a little succulent alive.”

Hijikata clicked his tongue, leaning back on the bench. “I bet you I could. They just need water every once in a while, right? And some sunlight? Sounds easy.”

Katsura huffed a laugh again. He turned towards Hijikata, hands going for his hair.

“What are you doing?” Hijikata asked.

“It's hot.” Katsura said, and he certainly wasn't lying. Hijikata could see the sheen of sweat on him from where he sat. Even Katsura's hair was looking a little sweaty, the silky smooth strands a little messier than usual.

“I agree.”

“Not even the Joui can escape the heat.” Katsura said. He slid both of his hands into his hair, lifting it off the back of his neck and pushing it all into one hand so he could tie it into a high ponytail. “I was going to go home, but needed to cool down. And then _you_ showed up.”

Hijikata only hummed in acknowledgment, eyes locked on Katsura's hands. He had his hair pulled up high, the elastic still in his left hand. His hair wasn't even tied up yet, but Hijikata was low-key horrified to realize his pants were tight. _What the actual fuck._ Was this because Katsura always tied his hair back before he went down on him? It had only happened a couple of times! What was this response! It was too fast to be considered conditioning-

Katsura suddenly paused, hair half up. His eyes were on Hijikata's rising crotch, lips slightly parted. His eyebrow twitched. Disbelieving eyes flickered up to Hijikata, his mouth pulling into a small smirk. Ever so slowly, Katsura finished with his hair, hands dropping to his lap.

“What are you thinking about, Vice Chief?”

Hijikata didn't need to explain. Five minutes later, he found himself further in the park, hidden by trees and bushes. He was leaning back against a trunk – _oh-ho look, a katsura tree_ , Katsura had said – a hand covering his mouth to keep himself quiet. Katsura was on his knees before him, firm hands on Hijikata's hips to keep them still. Hijikata's other hand was sitting on that stupid ponytail while Katsura's mouth sunk onto him, taking him down all in one go.

It was so _hot_. Katsura's mouth was too hot and too much already. Hijikata pressed his hand over his mouth to keep himself quiet, eyes closed and head tilted back as the pressure continued to build until it burst. He whimpered, hand scrunching in Katsura's ponytail while Katsura sucked him dry.

With a content sigh, Hijikata let go of Katsura's hair, and Katsura leaned back on his heels. He wiped at his mouth with a glance up, Hijikata's gunk smearing off his lips. He was smiling, borderline a shit eating grin, and Hijikata could only stare at it suspiciously.

“Was that because of the plants or because of the hair?” Katsura asked, standing up from the ground. He brushed his yukata off before sliding his thumb across his bottom lip again.

Hijikata cleared his throat. He was warm now. Way too warm. “The hair.” He admitted. “But you sound good when you're not talking stupid. Should do it more often.”

“It's not stupid, it's Katsura.” Katsura said with a wink. He leaned up on his toes, nose brushing against Hijikata's. “Now. You can return the favor later, okay?”

 

–

 

The second time it happened, later that week, Hijikata decided to accept it for what it was.

He took Gintoki out for a parfait. More like, he and Sougo ran into Gintoki and Kagura, who somehow talked them into buying him a parfait. Which was fine. Hijikata wasn't going to say no to hanging around with Gintoki. But sitting there, in Gintoki's favorite parfait restaurant, listening to Kagura and Sougo bicker back and forth over nothing and everything, Hijikata couldn't help but wish they were alone.

He was stirring his coffee, eyes lazily on Gintoki while the idiot ate his ice cream. His hair looked soft, the curls bouncy like they had just been washed. Gintoki was watching him too, making direct eye contact while he shoved that spoon straight into his mouth. He didn't blink, their gazes holding, and Hijikata suddenly wondered if that little nudge against his shoe had been intentional.

“You'd actually have friends if you had a better personality.” Kagura said. She was pointing her knife Sougo's way, but Sougo had his Sadist grin plastered across his face, enjoying her hostility. “Maybe then you could leave me and Pachi alone! Go find someone who has the same hobbies as you!”

“Who says I want friends?”

“I do.” Kagura took a dramatic sip of her orange juice. “You just want to be friends with Pachi because you like the same pop idol, don't you? You think you guys could really connect, but you just don't know how to approach the subject. Pachi's a nice boy. He'll tell you all about Otsuu and then fight you for her when you fall in love.”

“Who said I even like that crap?”

“The Gorilla told us the other night when he appeared from under the dinner table.” Kagura said. “Said you're just a shy boy.”

“I'm not shy!”

Gintoki's boot slid into Hijikata's again. It wasn't an accident. Hijikata glanced Gintoki's way, watching him pinch his cherry by the stem, lifting it from the top of his sundae with his forefinger and thumb. Rustic red eyes met Hijikata's, soft lips parting as he gently placed the cherry between his teeth. Gintoki popped the stem off, letting it sit for a second before his tongue came out and touched it. The cherry disappeared into his mouth, lips not quite closed as he crushed it between his teeth.

 _Shit._ Hijikata stared, heart suddenly thumping in his chest. _He's doing it again, eating his food all seductively!_

This wasn't the first time it had happened, either. Hijikata knew what was happening here. It usually occurred with dessert, but sometimes Gintoki managed to do it during a regular meal too. It was making Hijikata's pants tight, because he knew what to expect _after_. When Gintoki's kisses tasted like sugar, his hunger and obvious desperation for contact leaving Hijikata hot and heavy.

_We're in a restaurant! With kid_ _s_ _! Calm the hell down!_

He had been conditioned. These two idiots had somehow managed to condition him already, to expect sex of some form every time they did _the thing._ And Gintoki's _thing_ was explicitly eating his food in a way food was never meant to be eaten.

Hijikata nudged Gintoki's boot back. From his jacket pocket on the restaurant bench, Hijikata pulled out his bottle of mayonnaise. Sougo didn't cast it a second glance and neither did Kagura, their voices raised at each other as they fought over whether or not Otsuu was technically a masochist or a sadist. And what did that make Shinpachi?

Cracking open the lid, Hijikata took his spoon and scooped out some mayo. He tapped the spoon against the rim of his coffee mug, letting it all plop into the coffee. He glanced up, making direct eye contact with Gintoki. Gintoki made a face, eyebrows shooting into his hairline and smile a little strained.

Hijikata took the spoon. He licked the remnants of the mayo off until there was a creamy white glob of it on his tongue. He let it sit exposed on his tongue for a second longer than strictly necessary, peeking out from between his lips. He made a show of swallowing it, before sticking his spoon back into his coffee mug and giving it a good stir.

Gintoki's eyes went half lidded. He was poking at his ice cream, distracted, and Hijikata liked where this was going.

“I'm not introducing you, you're going to have to man up and approach him.” Kagura said. “And if you do anything to hurt him, you're going to have to go through me and then Gin-chan. Right Gin-chan?”

“Right.” Gintoki said, eyes still on Hijikata. “And then I'll have to beat up Mayora here for letting you get out of hand.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Sougo said, glancing Hijikata's way. “Right after Kondou beats him up for taking so long to arrive for his meeting. We were supposed to be there half an hour ago.”

Hijikata tore his gaze from Gintoki, eyes wide at Sougo. “What?”

“Yeah, he changed the time. You responded to his email and everything.”

“I did? You didn't think to remind me?”

“Nope.”

“We need to go! Right now!”

_Convinient._

Hijikata stopped in the bathroom before they left because he needed both to piss and to calm down. It was when he was washing his hands, that the bathroom door opened. Glancing in the mirror, Hijikata wasn't surprised to see Gintoki standing at the door, eyes on him as he entered.

“What are you doing?” Hijikata asked.

“You.” Gintoki said, sauntering over.

Hijikata rolled his eyes. He turned off the tap just as Gintoki moved up behind him. Turning around so that he was leaning against the counter, Hijikata wiped his wet hands off the front of Gintoki's yukata as he was trapped against the sink “And what do you plan on doing?”

“I wonder?” Gintoki said, leaning in to kiss Hijikata on the lips. His hand suddenly shot low, groping Hijikata through his jeans. “What is with you and the mayonnaise?”

“What is with you and your sweets?” Hijikata asked, kissing back. Gintoki tasted like his parfait, like chocolate and caramel and those confetti sprinkles. “Teasing me like that. It looked good.”

Gintoki hummed, hand kneading. Hijikata gasped, leaning back.

“Aw. Did I make the mini-Hiji-chan hard at the table?” Gintoki asked, kissing at Hijikata's neck. “I guess that makes me responsible, hey?”

Hijikata clicked his tongue, eyes narrowed. “You did _not_ make anything hard.”

“But I did, didn't I?” Gintoki asked. “You're already good to go.”

They moved into a stall, just in case. It was the least romantic thing Hijikata has ever done, but the thrill was still there when Gintoki shoved him up against the door to the stall, his hands on his belt and zipper, his lips and tongue pressing against Hijikata's own.

Seconds later, Gintoki's slightly wet hand plunged past the waistband of Hijikata's boxers, grabbing him firmly. Hijikata almost cried out, _almost_ , but he and Gintoki both hand a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet. Hijikata grabbed onto Gintoki's yukata.

“Shhh.” Gintoki reminded, leaning in close and confident. His hand was over Hijikata's own, warm and comforting. “Let me take care of you.”

His hand moved, sliding a little uncomfortably at first, but it didn't take long for his grip to become slick. Hijikata closed his eyes, somehow managing to keep himself quiet even when Gintoki brought him to seeing stars, his world spinning for a moment until Gintoki was letting go of his hand.

Hijikata dropped his own hand from his mouth, still panting. “What was that for?”

“Maybe I missed you?” Gintoki said, brushing their noses together. “But you need to leave first. Don't want this to look suspicious or anything.”

“Huh.” Hijikata chuckled, getting his hands to function so he could fix his pants. “I'll get you back for this.”

Gintoki grinned. “Looking forward to it. Now shoo. I have to take a dump.”


End file.
